The Complete Life ® Counselling and CBT in Ealing, West London

Issues. Dragon

Issues

yheadley@gmail.com

Depression
People who struggle with depression often feel down for extended periods. They lose interest in activities that they once found pleasurable. Depression negatively affects millions around the world each year.

Anxiety and Stress
Stress and anxiety are related, but often confused. Stress is tension associated with a specific event (e.g. a test or a job), while anxiety is a non-specific worry about the future. To find relief, people with anxiety may turn to repetitive routines, preoccupations, or addictions.

Arguments
Conflict resolution is an important part of any relationship. Conflict plays a vital role in allowing two people to reconcile differing needs. Unfortunately, when conflict is handled poorly, it can cause distress in the relationship.

Trauma
Experiences that overwhelm or scare us can leave a lasting impression. The symptoms can leave us stressed, depressed, and have negative consequences for our work and home life.
Communication
Feeling understood and understanding one's partner is what allows couples to deeply share one another's lives. Often, couples struggle with communication issues, which actually mask deeper relationship issues.

Self Esteem
Self-esteem is a feeling of personal worth. It is important to be able to value yourself regardless of your current state of personal achievement, beauty, or intelligence. Your self-esteem creates the foundation for a full life, great relationships, and a feeling of well-being.The cost of Therapy and Counselling may seem alot but it really is a bargain in terms of the outcomes that often occurs.

How much for that additional holiday? that additional binge? that additional shirt you will never wear? that new car to replace the car which is still more than functional? Changing partners again? Or finding yourself alone as always? Anything to stave off the inevitable reckoning. Time really does change once you have therapy and discover how to break unhelpful patterns and ways that you have accepted as "normal". Imagine not spending to make yourself feel better (if only for a short time), or being able to make the decisions that are in the end best for you and those you love. Imagine being happier for who and what you are and not what you have just bought or watched on TV. In the big picture therapy is such a small outlay for such long-term gains.

Abuse
There has been much research showing there is a higher risk of a lifetime with a major depressive disorder in early adulthood, if an individual has been physically abused or experienced multiple types of abuse as children. Depression is seen as a very common consequence of past abuse or neglect and the effects of child abuse and neglect can remain hidden and emerge only when triggered at major times in later life. The old wounds from past child abuse can be reopened and triggered by any further experiences of adverse outcomes. In fact some studies show some disturbing correlation in adults who had experienced child abuse; Those who had been abused were two and a half times more likely to have major depression and six times more likely to have post-traumatic stress disorder compared to adults who had not experienced abuse. The consequence of this were substantially increased if the adults had also experienced parental divorce/parental relationship difficulties along with child abuse. The events of our lives really do have an effect on our lives.

Learning Disabilities
It is not only children who also have problems with learning disabilities. Adults also grow up with them. They are not only simply sorted out and are “grown out of” at adulthood. Treatment helps children handle their learning disabilities better but as adults they also have higher rates of depression. This is because those with learning disabilities have to maneuver in a world where others think and can behave differently. This “difference” and working to operate in such a world can be exhausting and lead to depression. My particular skills are with those who have learning disabilities but are able to still work and operate in the world. Those who have dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia and Asperger’s. Many of my clients are working but are finding it difficult to operate with more flexibility in the world.

Meaning
Many often find they feel depressed and some do not know they are depressed. They have lived their lives as they have for the last few decades but something is amiss. Something is not right and they often find they have been living someone else’s life and not their own. The task of therapy is to find the meaning and the depth their lives require. CBT is not just a paper and pen exercise but also looks deeper into the spirit our lives requires that we express. To some of us this involves the more basic needs to learn to control our thoughts, motives and behaviours. To others this requires us to look into the deeper aspects of meanings through our beliefs and the spirit behind them.

Life changes and transitions
Motherhood, new work, changes in studies. These all bring on possible effects in depression. Motherhood as a change in state is not only hormonal but also brings on new responsibilities and new memories and behaviours. It is not all plain sailing and I do not understand as to why it is seen as “natural’ when we now live in a world of internet and fast service. Having a baby takes months, years and decades off a person’s life. The life stages of a child are not short but can go on for a long time in these days when children do not leave their homes and when homes are expensive to purchase. The life cycle of a mother therefore has also changed and does not stay within the same cycles our mothers and grandmothers before us had.

Efficiency
Inefficiency is not as acceptable as it may have been before. It is not as easy to coast along expecting a job or a partner for life. We now have nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Being as efficient and as well-balanced and emotionally available as we can is a valued commodity in the world that rewards such efficiency. Most of us cannot afford to return again and again to such inefficiency. Life is tough and not helping ourselves will make it even tougher.

Happiness
Happiness. What an ephemeral and fleeting concept it is. It is not possible is it? A therapist and counsellor who works on Happiness? Is that possible? Is it not a dichotomy? Don't therapists and counsellors only work on human misery and pain? Don't they live in the slough of the pig swill of humanity. Surprise, surprise, as a therapist I work to move people away from depression to happiness. To a more complete and more rewarding and fulfilling life.

Happiness is possible for everyone. Not all the time and everyday but possible. Some have it for longer levels than others and some only have snatches of it. It is a habit, a behaviour, a way of being with yourself and with others. Some have it almost inbuilt and learned it from childhood. It is like a Happy families pack of cards with all the members learning how to be happy. The children then grow up and are meant to also be happy too. Is that what happens? Really happens? Sometimes it does but sometimes it does not. There are children who do not grow up happy too. Who can make mistakes in the people they marry and the jobs they work in. It does not always flow smoothly. In one lifetime there are so many decisions to make. Many marry more than once. Many live in different houses, move jobs then the one they are meant to stay in for the rest of their lives.

Work in therapy is work from the inside to the outside and then back in again. It is a circular and very positive motion. One does not work without the other and it will always need that push to keep it in motion. Happiness is not stagnant. Depression is stagnant. To be happy needs movement, to keep happy requires activity. It requires constant flow, learning, development. Depression means staying still, expecting the world to change and for you not to have to do anything. Depression is passive and inactive. I am sure you must get the picture now.

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